How to Find Inner Peace While Walking the Dogs

On the Left is “Chico” (from Puerto Rico)
On theRight is “Lady” (who isn’t one)

Believe me, there is no self when walking the dogs.

There is no pride when you’re picking up dog poop.

There is a sort of Zen-like silence since the pooches can’t talk to you.

There is a sense of pure awareness trying to keep Lady away from potentially biting people.

Balance is important when you’re steering Chico and Lady is barking incessantly at the passers-by.

You have to learn tolerance when the dogs are pulling you in the direction they want to go.

Cooperation is key to keep both dogs from trampling one another.

There is no Time. This is especially difficult when you’re late for work, it’s raining (or snowing), you missed your bus (or train) and both dogs need to go out.

The discipline it takes to make sure that the dogs get their walk three times a day (morning, afternoon, & evening) is a lesson in itself.

You have to learn how to forgive your next-door neighbor when they complain about “curbing your dog” (even though you know it wasn’t you).

Being still is easy at six in the morning. No normal human being is up yet.

Realizing that we are all connected happens when I spot another dog-walker and we exchange knowing glances.

Amituofo!

Ahora No Tengo

Hi…have been on vacation for a week but haven’t really gone anywhere. In truth, I just needed the time away to collect my thoughts and to relax a little. I was partially successful even though I actually missed my job (if you can believe it). I can officially call myself a workaholic.

I’m trying to teach Sara Spanish since she doesn’t seem to have learned anything and failed it this past semester. She just seems disinterested in anything that doesn’t concern staring at a tv all day, watching videos. Still, I feel that constant–and I mean CONSTANT–chatter will somehow have her turn around that nasty attitude. She also didn’t succeed in getting a part-time job this summer so that also has been a bit of a disappointment. Even though she’s only sixteen, I feel that she’s gotta get moving so that she can learn new things and meet some people.

As for Carlos, he’s been rather depressed lately, so it’s difficult to get any support from him. For now, I have taken it upon myself to write a lot in my journal and Sara also is starting her own. I’ve also taken to watch those late-night episodes of “Zen & Inner Peace” with speaker, Master Sheng Yen. I could use a little wisdom and peace these days.
For example, the other night I had this crazy dream that involved me in a school setting (among the many lately). Here it is in grave detail (as I love dreams and dream analyses):
A female teacher was teaching us about not-yet-released products. All of the students get this small, inflatable doll that it is supposed to get bigger when you squeeze it. As I begin to squeeze mine, though, the damn thing wouldn’t do what it was supposed to do. I get frustrated and voice my discontent, but the professor just ignores me. She continues her lesson and takes out one of those “parachuter” toys you used to get at candy stores. Only, the parachutist was not a plastic figurine, but a square box. She tosses this box underneath the students’ desks and holds fast to the parachute part. As she is describing what it does, she starts to look as if she cannot breathe. One of the students gets up and annouces that the teacher is having some sort of attack and that someone should get help. Ever the do-gooder, I run out and around the floor, attempting to get someone to help. I wind up at a security desk with a very lazy looking Latin man. I tell him that Mrs._____ in Room 415 has fallen ill. Could he please call an ambulance. The Latin man just repeats what I say word-for-word without calling for any aid. I tell him again, raising my voice to draw attention. The guard misunderstands me and thinks that I want directions to the classroom. Sensing that this guy’s not going to help, I run around while another teacher peeks out of their class to tell me that they are aware of the problem. I think that I am heading back the same way I came, but I am not. I am lost. The dream ends with someone telling me that the teacher is okay, but that it doesn’t matter since she has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer…
When Carlos interpreted the dream, he says that it is just a literal translation of my worry about things being bad. My subconscious is telling me that things could always be worse. Although I like his interpretation, I see too many symbols that show issues that I still have in my waking life coming to the forefront. But I’m not gonna tell this blog…you’ll just have to guess…haha, You Fools!!!

Being Bobby Brown

OK, ok. I know this is gonna sound corny. But my new “guilty pleasure” on tv is the new Bravo reality series, “Being Bobby Brown”.
When my electric was restored yesterday, I nearly jumped up with full-on glee. So I thought I’d reward myself–a self-proclaimed reality show junkie–with the succulent show to quench the thirst left behind by the disappointing, Britney Spears reality-bitten “Chaotic”. Together with Carlos’ daughter, we witnessed the train-wreck marriage from the comfort and safety of our own home. Seeing the two enable one another on their roller-coaster ride of drug abuse (Bobby’s Preparation-H facials and Whitney’s tore-up-from-the-floor-up mussy wigs) was delightful. It made me realize that Brown’s quote regarding camera shooting: “I think it brought us close together, because it showed us that we’re just normal…”– is a definite understatement, people. You’ve got to watch.

Blackout

Yesterday, a transformer blew on my block and blacked out my entire neighborhood. Carlos called me at around 1pm to tell me and then I got a call from my Dad. The electric company evacuated our building because there was a lot of smoke and now my apartment smells like sulphur. Even though the company worked through the night, I still do not have lights and since this is the 2nd day, I’m worried about my food spoliing. Even my grandmother stopped by to make sure I was alright!

Carlos just called to inform me that the electric company are sendig reps from the Claims Dept. in order to assess the damage. I’m so worried…I actually don’t have anything else to say!
That’s a first.

Get A Kick out of Litkicks

Today I posted a response to a post about Def Poetry Jam (http://www.litkicks.com) about “racial relevance”. I had to agree with the opinions expressed.
You can look me up and read for yourself. My codename’s, MeMa.

Enlightment

Looking to be enlightened; want there to be some magical shift in the cosmos to grant me an amazing change that will both inspire and move me to action.
Don’t think that today was uneventful, though. It wasn’t. I managed to work on some research for the accident because I want to win. I also did some laundry, despite feeling that I need to upgrade to dryer (maybe?).

Aside: I remember how ashamed I was when I made mention to a very bitchy former boss that I still hung my laundry out on a line. I’ll never forget the look of sheer disdain that I would choose such an archaic way of drying laundry. You would’ve sworn by the look on her face that I had done something wrong.

Thankfully, that was a long time ago and I have since been Enlightened. I still think that there is a certain beauty to doing things the old fashioned way. The smell of the sheets, the delicate balance of hanging each garment on the line. A romance to it, if you will. That’s why I prefer it.

While I did the laundry, Carlos’ daughter and I talked. Or rather, I talked about my worldly advice on the topic of being a teenager and boys. It seems as though she has a lot more to tell me but, given our history, is afraid to. Maybe she’ll grow to truly trust me and not keep on testing me like she does. Sometimes I swear that girl is fooling everyone. I guess I’ll have to keep on repeating to myself (like a mantra): Be Patient, Be Patient, Be Patient. Lord knows, Sara’s a tough nut to crack.

The funny part is that this is probably the payback for all the rotten stuff I pulled on my mom. I guess my mom was right. Damn, life truly is a cyclical. Joke’s on me.

So Sue Me!

4th of July on its way and I’m feeling so damned creative.
Wrote some stuff on LitKicks because it’s become a fun place to throw out my opinions and write my poetry. I mostly enjoy posting. It gives me an outlet after the bit of bad luck I’ve been having.

The latest in my long list of “Happy” news (See, My Happy Life: one of my favorite novels listed). I’m being sued people. That’s right. A civil court case involving a car I no longer own. An accident from 2004 which came back to haunt. I’ve never been served before, so it came as a shock, especially since this took place so long ago. The guy hit us and since he couldn’t get any money from our insurance company, he’s trying to get paid through the civil courts.

Carlos and I really just had to laugh this one up. There was a comedian on tv the night before and he told a joke. He said he knew couples that were still together because “they had too many bills”. Carlos and I laughed and laughed. So it seemed only natural that crack up after being slapped with a suit. We can’t afford to be apart. Get it?

Happy Friday!

It’s been a few months since I’ve absorbed the fact that I’ve been absorbed. That may sound like an appealing predicament, but I assure you, it is the opposite. I’m two months away from losing my job (along with two other employees on my team).

Looking back I can’t say that I hadn’t been warned, though. It was a long time coming.

How I Knew It Was Over…

1. Duplicate Efforts - This is a nice way of saying that another team in the company does exactly what we do, only they’re bigger than we are. For the greater good, the company decided to part with the few to save the jobs of the many…at least for now.
2. The Sound of Silence - It’s like church, people. Seriously. If a pen falls in a distant cubicle on the other side of the floor, does it make a sound? Yes because I can hear the echo.
3. Nobody Home - Tumbleweeds float throughout the office space, the phones are silent, the cubes empty. One half of the employees call out sick on a DAILY basis. The other half ask to “work from home”, and we all know what that means.
4. Dropping Like Flies - When outside contractors and temps outnumber the actual employees 2:1, there’s definitely a problem.

So even though I logically understand that this working environment is detrimental to my health, I can’t help but feel a little tug at my heart. Five years is a long time to work for a company these days. In those years, I’ve seen employees hired, fired and re-hired. From across the Hudson, I witnessed the horror of 9/11. I saw our firm bought out by a bigger company–twice. I’m having T-shirts drawn up: I survived a corporate merger. There’s a lot of history here, people.

What I’ll Miss The Most…

 

1. THE BEST BOSS IN THE WORLD - The award goes to…Eric S. Provider of free services like lunches, pastries, and access to the wealth of knowledge housed entirely in his brain. A one-stop knowledge and reference center, Eric can help with just about any given situation. House on Fire? No problem, he’ll setup a hospice. Timmy stuck in a well? Eric knows a guy with a crane. An overall caring superior human being, I can NEVER repay this man for all of his help over the years. And most importantly, he puts up with all my crap.
2. HEIDI-HO NEIGHBOR - My co-host and Breakfast Club partner, Shirley is a wonderful friend. Although we got off to a rocky start, there is no one who I rely on to be my confidante than Shirl. And most importantly, she listens to all of my crap.
3. COLLEAGUES ABOVE THE REST - This is going to sound corny, I know. But I have grown to love my colleagues, even the cheerleaders and grouches. Okay, stop laughing.
4. FREE FOOD - Let it be said that our company never let its employees go hungry. And I of the “if-its-for-free-its-for-me” philosophy couldn’t have been happier.
5. THE COMMUTE - Just one, quick bus or subway ride and you’re there. Sweet.

I know that ultimately this bit of bad news will be good news for everyone involved.
I know, I know. A lot of you will read this and think: ‘Yeah, right’. Think what you will. It’s a hard group to replace. ‘Nuff said.