Peacemeal

I laughed.  I think that I really haven’t belly-laughed as hard as I did this holiday go-around.  Over the years, I’m almost sure that I’d forgotten its meaning.  It was good to get back to basics, feeling thankful once again for what I’ve been given and celebrating the true meaning of family.  I found out that it isn’t all perfect and imaginary.  It’s sloppy, but loving.  It isn’t judgmental, but present.  But it definitely isn’t painful.

In the morning, Carlos got up and did his usual nervous parade up and down the kitchen, yelling orders like a corporal.  True, he made me nearly go mad with his offer to cook every pastry known to man, but it was all really worth it.  My terrifying battle with the bird did not occur, since my step-daughter handled all the cooking.   While Carlos managed the logistics of where to place what, how long things needed to cook, and what needed to be on the table and when, I enjoyed the yummy remnants of a full on feast that I had only to attend–guilt-free, mind you–for the first time in years.  I didn’t have to invite anyone, but someone came anyway.  There was plenty to share and believe me, plenty to be thankful for.  But this was the most worry-free, wonderful and fully enjoyable meal I’ve ever had.  No muss, no fuss.  No dish, no dirt.  No anger, no regret.  Just food and laughter and sweet smells from my kitchen.  Sara actually even threw me out at one point: the experiment to make her be more verbal working for the first time.  Joey, Carlos’ son called from Texas.  We heard from the Cafe Con Leche Crew: Fifi, Barbara, Jessica, Milly all celebrating together from Florida.  It was great.

Now I have leftovers to last almost a week.  Sara’s cherry pie (among her apple and pumpkin pies) was delicious.  It appears to have been attacked by pirates in the middle of the night…heehee ;-)  As for the turkey, well, it couldn’t have come out better had we had it professionally done at the local supermarket.  (Yeah, right)  I hope that this is the beginning of many memorable and ultimately happier family get-togethers.  Even if the get-togethers don’t include the usual players.  But if that means a better time, then I’m all up for it.  I guess too much of a bad thing is bad for you!?  Who’d of thought…

Oh My Dear Internet, How I’ve Missed You…

At the risk of sounding like a complete computer nerd, I will tell you what has kept me away for so long.  I really know now that I never want to be parted from my dearest love.  Yes, my computer.  My dear, loyal wonderfully nerd-fulfilling bundle of typing joy…mwah!

So I’ve been away.  Not intentionally, mind you.  My dang internet connection just decided to play a little game with me for the past few days and it really left me feeling bereft.  Bereft, I tell  you!  All because of a little driver issue.  But only nerds like myself know what the heck that means.  Damn you IP addresses!  Damn you to hell!  Ok, I don’t really always know what the computer terminology really means, but I do try to pretend I do by dropping some dime words that only worker bees acquire.  Words like, “port” and “drivers” and “modem”.  It all sounds good but it is indeed still Greek to me.  At the very least I can get the online technician to understand what the problem is and have him try to address it. 

The Blame Game:

It often starts with a simple amber-lit circle on your ISP modem (See?  Sounds important, don’t it?).  In layman’s terms, it’s the modem that was sent to you by your Internet Service Provider (hence, I-S-P).  In my case, it’s a cable-modem, which is the fastest and most wonderful thing to have for a person who gets easily frustrated when the webpage doesn’t load fast enough.  Anyone who’s ever had dial-up can truly relate.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then just picture a faucet.  Do you want the water to drip out slowly or do you want a nice steady stream of water?  If you opt for the drip, then you must be one. You shouldn’t even be included in this conversation.  Jerk.

When I discovered that my modem wasn’t working, then all  hell broke loose.  The sky began to blacken.  The thunder rolled and the lightning struck…eh, there Garth?  Well, not literally of course. The melodramatic me just thought that it did.  So I called my wonderful ISP and asked them to correct the problem right away.  Please.  Now.  Hurry, hurry, hurry!!! *ahem*  Alas, it was not to be.  No matter what diagnostic test they ran, the stupid modem would not read my IP address.  That’s when the fun really began.  Let me explain—You see, when the system isn’t working according to the ISP’s plan, then they have a tendency to play the blame game.   Since they are not obligated to repair a computer system that is affecting their hardware (i.e. their “modem”), they will very nonchalantly tell you: “The cable-modem is obviously working on our end sir / ma’am.  The problem is your computer.  Please contact your manufacturer to get them to repair your system.”  It’s almost as if they are saying: ‘So sorry, idiot, but this isn’t our problem…it’s yours now.  Bye-bye!’  After speaking with them I was like, huh?  and wha–? I felt diseased.  I felt like I’d done something terribly, terribly wrong.  Truth is this is a common problem.  No, really.  I shouldn’t take it personally.  Neither should you.  That’s why I’m passing this bit of knowledge to you to help you avoid this from happening to you.  I am a humanitarian, after all.

OK.  So where was I?

Oh yeah!  The Blame Game.  So there I was feeling like a lost puppy.  I called my manufacturer who was very kind and walked me through some more diagnostic tests.  Ugh!  After I got through those though, we’d reached a similar wall.  The dang IP address and drivers weren’t being recognized and it was causing shameful messes on my machine.  Double-ugh!

In the end it took about a week while I got a specialist (on the ISP side) and a technician (on the manufacturer side) work together to resolve my problem.  A few annoying phone calls, a complete system reload and a heck of a lot of inconvenience later, I’m back up and running.  Thank goodness for Patience and Perseverance and Persistance.  I could think of other wonderful words that start with ‘p’ but, well they don’t pertain to the matter at hand.

You’re Not Going Anywhere:

Ok, computer.  Don’t ever leave me like that again, you hear?  If I need to install anti-virus software, then I will do so.  Don’t punish me like that again.  You know I can’t live without you.  I love you so much I even wrote a song about our relationship:

You are the sunshine of my life (yeah)

Forever your screensaver will evolve

Don’t ever get no viruses (yeah)

May all your glitches just dissolve

You say that it’s not the beginning

We’ve had some changes since you were new

But I’m not ready to give in

These memories we’ve built are true (woo-hoo!)

So let me tap on your sweet keyboard

Blog on my website day and night

Don’t ever treat me like some user

Who’ll shut you down when you’re not feelin’ right

Whoa!!!!

(Fade out)

I Didn’t Wanna Jinx It, But…

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I get to write about just how nerve-wracking the whole experience was.  Or, not.  Well, folks, it wasn’t easy…I’ll tell you that.  My six-month ordeal may seem like it’s over, but I know that it’s really just beginning. 

The whole world seems to be on a shift.  I mean, soon The Rockettes will be performing their Christmas special for the first time ever in swimsuits!  Well, that’s the kind of unusally warm weather that we’re having.  Instead of snowmen, sandmen.  Instead of scarves and gloves, sunglasses and sunblock SPF 30.  But don’t worry…this global warming thing could just be a fluke and we’re really going towards the next Ice Age.  Who knows with the wacky weather reports we’ve been having?  I mean, not even meterologists can get it right…not even with Doppler 5000 radar…

So what’s next?  Hmmm???

Maybe this…