Ahora No Tengo

Hi…have been on vacation for a week but haven’t really gone anywhere. In truth, I just needed the time away to collect my thoughts and to relax a little. I was partially successful even though I actually missed my job (if you can believe it). I can officially call myself a workaholic.

I’m trying to teach Sara Spanish since she doesn’t seem to have learned anything and failed it this past semester. She just seems disinterested in anything that doesn’t concern staring at a tv all day, watching videos. Still, I feel that constant–and I mean CONSTANT–chatter will somehow have her turn around that nasty attitude. She also didn’t succeed in getting a part-time job this summer so that also has been a bit of a disappointment. Even though she’s only sixteen, I feel that she’s gotta get moving so that she can learn new things and meet some people.

As for Carlos, he’s been rather depressed lately, so it’s difficult to get any support from him. For now, I have taken it upon myself to write a lot in my journal and Sara also is starting her own. I’ve also taken to watch those late-night episodes of “Zen & Inner Peace” with speaker, Master Sheng Yen. I could use a little wisdom and peace these days.
For example, the other night I had this crazy dream that involved me in a school setting (among the many lately). Here it is in grave detail (as I love dreams and dream analyses):
A female teacher was teaching us about not-yet-released products. All of the students get this small, inflatable doll that it is supposed to get bigger when you squeeze it. As I begin to squeeze mine, though, the damn thing wouldn’t do what it was supposed to do. I get frustrated and voice my discontent, but the professor just ignores me. She continues her lesson and takes out one of those “parachuter” toys you used to get at candy stores. Only, the parachutist was not a plastic figurine, but a square box. She tosses this box underneath the students’ desks and holds fast to the parachute part. As she is describing what it does, she starts to look as if she cannot breathe. One of the students gets up and announces that the teacher is having some sort of attack and that someone should get help. Ever the do-gooder, I run out and around the floor, attempting to get someone to help. I wind up at a security desk with a very lazy looking Latin man. I tell him that Mrs._____ in Room 415 has fallen ill. Could he please call an ambulance. The Latin man just repeats what I say word-for-word without calling for any aid. I tell him again, raising my voice to draw attention. The guard misunderstands me and thinks that I want directions to the classroom. Sensing that this guy’s not going to help, I run around while another teacher peeks out of their class to tell me that they are aware of the problem. I think that I am heading back the same way I came, but I am not. I am lost. The dream ends with someone telling me that the teacher is okay, but that it doesn’t matter since she has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer…
When Carlos interpreted the dream, he says that it is just a literal translation of my worry about things being bad. My subconscious is telling me that things could always be worse. Although I like his interpretation, I see too many symbols that show issues that I still have in my waking life coming to the forefront. But I’m not gonna tell this blog…you’ll just have to guess…haha, You Fools!!!


About Lisa Perez

Lisa M. Perez is a published poet, editor, copywriter, public speaker and artist. The co-creator of the first ever ArtSpace in Jersey City, member of IUOMA (International Union of Mail Artists), and administrator for an online Mail Art group, Lisa supports the arts and advocates for creativity. Her successful, Art Journal and "Notes from my Brain" series are ongoing projects that evolve with the artist. In addition to being an active blogger since 2005, Lisa scripts and edits copy for various online articles and videos. In September 2017, she was a guest-speaker and virtually chaired a YOGA Recovery meeting. In her spare time, Lisa studies, reads, and creates while maintaining a day job in a STEM field and being a full-time fur-mommy to her shih-tzu, Cher.
This entry was posted in Let's Just Invite The Family, Look Into My Crystal Ball, These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes, Things That Make Me Go Hmmm.... Bookmark the permalink.

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