Now that I consider myself a true blogger, I’m expecting feedback. Is that too much to ask?! Maybe it is. Most people barely enjoy reading let alone commenting on what they read. But I’m sure that there are some of you out there completely unaware that I review my blog and look forward to hearing some sort of response. The literary-minded know exactly what I mean. So get to posting, dammit!
DO YOU SPEAK-A MY LANGUAGE?:
Now that that little unpleasantness is behind us, I want to tackle my latest pet peeve: dime words, catch phrases, and irritating know-it-all-isms that have me in a tizzy! Even yes, Whitney Houston has one: “A hell to the no!” which she can be seen blabbering out at any given moment on her hubby’s show, Being Bobby Brown. What the heck is that all about?
I decided to list some of my most ‘beloved’ (read: sarcasm):
- Transfats – People in the know have been dropping this word like it’s hot. Oh yeah, that reminds me…
- Hot – Paris Hilton thought she was being cute when she first blurted out this adjective, but now it makes my ears bleed.
- Hollaback – Not since Suzanne Vega’s “Tom’s Diner” has a mind-numbing track been on such heavy rotation at radio-stations everywhere. This time, we have Gwen Stefani to thank.
- Keeping It Real – What does this phrase really mean? Really. If I’m a taxi-driver and I’m Arabic am I ‘keeping it real’? If I sell drugs on a street corner and I’m black or Hispanic am I ‘keeping it real’? And what the heck is JLo singing about her fake-one-million-dollar-insured-ass really singing, “…’cuz I’m real” for? If that chick is real, then we have a real problem. But hey, I’m just being real about it. For real.
- ADD, ADHD, OCD – Great–now let’s just label EVERYTHING a disorder. Why not? The government loves it so they can sell you drugs like ritalin and xannax and oxycotton. Before we knew what it was, male pattern baldness was just something that happened to old or over-stressed men. Now, it’s a genetic disorder that men spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to correct, making The Hair Club for Men President/client very, very rich. Back in the day, ADD kids were just “slow”, OCD kids were just “weird”, and ADHD kids were just “confused”. Why can’t we leave well enough alone? Because some mediocre parent wants the right to sue the school for not ‘paying attention to Little (child’s name here)’. Gimme a break already!
- Swag – If I see another Access Hollywood expose on the trend I swear…Do I need to feel bad about myself to this extent? I mean, Robin Leach had just gotten me used to the idea that the rich and famous had to have “champagne wishes and caviar dreams”. Do I have to be reminded of the irony behind the richest people in the world getting baskets full of free stuff worth in excess of $26K, too??? No.
These are only a few examples. I’m sure that when I go back to think about it, something else will come to mind. Better yet, why don’t you tell me? The comment button can be found at the bottom of each entry in green. It’ll look like this: with a pencil at the end.