It’s Quiz Time

I felt a little playful today so I thought I’d create a quiz. This is for pure fun because I love to take quizzes. Hope you enjoy!

SURREAL UNION:
Find out what kind of celebrity coupling best describes you and yours.

1) You are invited to your best bud’s wedding but your mate isn’t dressed to your
liking. You:
a) Tell him to change.
b) Offer a suggestion, but let it go if your mate gets huffy.
c) Both change and then muscle your way to the nearest mirror shouting, “I think I look great, but do you
think this sleeve could be longer? Maybe this makes me look fat? Maybe I should change into the black one? What do you think???”
d) Tell him / her to add a feather boa and platform shoes.
e) Argue, but then cave when presented with a healthy dose of crack.
f) Get a Thetan Level 3 to advise your mate on what the appropriate dress code is.

2) Someone spiked the punch at a party, which has made your mate a little drunk.
You:
a) Tell him to relax. There’s a time and a place to “act the fool”.
b) You are a little upset, but start to drink too. There’s no point in your mate having all the fun!
c) Down a couple and give lap-dances to everyone in attendance.
d) Start licking each other’s faces.
e) Spark up and owl. Everything’s better when you’re loaded.
f) Lucky for you you’ve been coached for such an occasion. Under the watchful eye of a Thetan Level 5
escort, you say she’s “magnificent” and that he “…is the most incredible man in the world”.

3) The tabloids hint at a breakup. You immediately:
a) Show up holding hands at the next premiere.
b) Get your manager to sue the publication.
c) Begin work on a reality TV show based on your marriage.
d) Release a sex tape amid amorous displays of affection.
e) Release statements saying he’s: “The Godfather of Soul” and that she’s the “Queen of R&B”
f) Show-up in Paris, spouting sayings like: “She’s magnificent” and “He is the most incredible man in the
world”.

4) Your methodology for raising kids is:
a) Place them on the red-carpet to interview celebrities.
b) Hand them off to their real parents when you’re done cooing over them.
c) What, kids? She doesn’t want to lose her figure and he doesn’t want to compete over who gets to suckle mommy’s melons!
d) The nannies and au pairs have it all under control. Gotta go! Mommy’s promoting her new show and
Daddy’s promoting a new album…
e) She says: “I don’t wanna be bothered with no damn kids on Mother’s Day.” He says: “Great! Then we’ll go
to the pool while mommy’s at the spa!”
f) I think it’s important to expose children to everything and my ex, actually the world, agrees with me on
this.

5) Your mate is feeling a little depressed. What do you do?
a) Run a hot bubble bath, send the kids away and cook dinner for her.
b) She wears daisy-dukes and a new fragrance. He showers her with expensive gifts.
c) Invite a bunch of celebrities over for a party.
d) Get “his” and “her” tattoos.
e) Sing out loud and take a few pictures with fans, after you both inhaled.
f) Eat all-natural herbs and take homeopathic remedies with the stamp of approval from The Church, of
course.

6) Finish this phrase: Exercise is…
a) Healthy. You both workout to feel and look good.
b) A necessary evil. Given your lines of work, you both have to workout on a regular basis.
c) Vital. Neither of you wants to be the ugly girl at the dance.
d) Not important. She is a freak of nature, and he’s just a freak.
e) Not necessary if you’re on the crack, chile!
f) Magnificent and Incredible. Whether jumping on couches or sliding across wood-parquet flooring, it is
awesome!

7) You describe your sex-life together as:
a) The Willenium Project.
b) A Hazzard.
c) Kalifornication.
d) Dr. Feelgood.
e) And I………..Will Always Love You.
f) Magnificent and Incredible…what else?

8) Which of these song lyrics best describe you and your mate:
a) All my love (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah) / A thousand kisses from you is never too much [1,000 Kisses ~ Will Smith]
b) I can wear my hair down / I can say anything crazy / I know you’ll catch me right before I hit the
ground [With You ~ Jessica Simpson]
c) Sometimes I feel / Like I don’t have a partner / Sometimes I feel / Like my only friend
[Under the Bridge ~ Red Hot Chili Peppers]
d) Took my love into overdrive / Custom pink tonight you’ll pay the price / When she’s hot, well, damn she’s hot / Electric love [Come on And Dance ~ Motley Crue]
e) Didn’t we almost have it all / When love was all we had worth giving? / The ride with you was worth the
fall my friend / Loving you makes life worth living [Didn’t We Almost Have It All ~ Whitney Houston]
f) Turning and returning to some secret place inside / Watching in slow motion as you turn my way and
say / Take my breath away, My Love / Take my breath away [Take My Breath Away ~ Berlin]

9) Which of these choices best reveals your beauty secret:
a) Makeup artists never hurt anybody but au natural is our favorite (just ask her).
b) Proactive Face Cream, of course!
c) Breathe balance and acupuncture techniques help us out.
d) Anger management and group therapy sessions keep us on-again, off-again.
e) Wigs and Preparation H facials, baby.
f) Scientology gets us through anything.

10) This one’s just for fun. Which smash-up comes close to the way you would describe your
relationship?
a) Matrix in Black (MIB)
b) 98 Degrees of Hazzard
c) Scary Addiction
d) Baywatch Goes to College
e) It’s Not Right but it’s My Prerogative
f) Disturbing Risky Business

Alright, alright. You’ve had your fun, now—

Tally it Up…….

You are:

Jada Pinkett and Will Smith (Those who chose mostly “A” answers)
Okay, so you’re woman’s always right (if you know what’s good for you). But that ain’t bad, because the both of you enjoy working as a team so long as she gets the final say. You like ‘em strong, anyway! Equal in love, equal in success, but in-between the sheets and in life ~ a woman has her way.

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (Those who chose mostly “B” answers)
You are the cookie-cutter bride and bridegroom. You never have a bad word to say about each other. While separated for long periods on the road, you romantically surprise one another with visits. You also like to give each other “cutsie” presents and spice things up with bubblegum-flavored products. Most people are sick of the two of you but still say, “Aw, shucks” when they see you lovingly stare into one another’s eyes.

Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro (Those who chose mostly “C” answers)
Your marriage is a sham. You two are more interested in playing dress-up than playing house. Fights in front of the bathroom mirror are not uncommon and you both love to debate who dresses better. Give it up.

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee (Those who chose mostly “D” answers)
The both of you are like children who can’t make a decision. On-again, off-again and up and down like yo-yo’s. You’re both silly and outrageous personalities who can’t seem to make a decision on whether to stay together or ditch the effort. Hurry up, people. Time’s a-wastin’.

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown (Those who chose mostly “E” answers)
By yourselves, you seem okay. But together, you’re self-destructive. Outbursts like “a hell to the no!” plus overactive sweat-glands just prove that the both of you need some professional help. And against popular advice, you choose to stay together. No one knows how you manage to trudge on, what with your numerous court appearances and rehab. Somehow, you do. Ain’t love grand? (Sit down, Courtney!)

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise (Those who chose mostly “F” answers)
Okay, so he’s jumping up and down on couches and you are completely flattered by his public displays of affection enough to convert to his religion. It doesn’t mean its love. It’s convenient and fabricated and completely nuts. Besides, he can’t seem to shake the gay off of him. Free Katie!

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About Lisa Perez

Lisa M. Perez is a published poet, editor, copywriter, public speaker and artist. The co-creator of the first ever ArtSpace in Jersey City, member of IUOMA (International Union of Mail Artists), and administrator for an online Mail Art group, Lisa supports the arts and advocates for creativity. Her successful, Art Journal and "Notes from my Brain" series are ongoing projects that evolve with the artist. In addition to being an active blogger since 2005, Lisa scripts and edits copy for various online articles and videos. In September 2017, she was a guest-speaker and virtually chaired a YOGA Recovery meeting. In her spare time, Lisa studies, reads, and creates while maintaining a day job in a STEM field and being a full-time fur-mommy to her shih-tzu, Cher.
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One Response to It’s Quiz Time

  1. Kristina says:

    4 A’s! Woo hoo! I would have to say that my boyfriend definately wears the pants in the relationship, but I like it that way, so it’s cool. And since he has my permission to be the decision maker, I consider this to be relationship of equality! Ha!

    I am just glad that I scored closest to the healthiest couple on the quiz! Woo hoo!

    Now this deserves a celebration? Pass me the wine!

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