On The Outside Looking In

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Squirrel looking inSquirrel looking in,
originally uploaded by Mema13.

Akin to my little friend here, I have spent most of my current waking hours trying to fit in. I see the forest for the trees, the greener grass in my neighbor's yard, and I'm so apart from it that it is making me increasingly depressed. I'm even getting that weird feeling you get when you don't belong. That odd-man-out feeling. That new-kid-in-the-cafeteria feeling. The smallest opportunity that I am given to speak, say, when someone asks me a question, I begin the downward spiral of offering WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. I even provide my very own thesis and dissertation before, as Shakespeare would say, "Thou didst request it." Ugh!
So while I'm offering up those little nuggets of conversation that people are tripping over, I find that I am even annoying myself. It's time to gather up those treasures of Wisdom and shove 'em back in my mouth the minute they accidentally fall out. That way, I can save myself ten miles of misery. I also have to stop myself from staring awkwardly at those around me in an attempt to transfer brain signals. No one wants to Vulcan mind-meld anymore. It's time for me to store those and stop giving the appearance that I'm some lame-ass chick who talks to her herself for fear of sharing any thoughts with my human counterparts. I can't begin to tell you how much I'm starting to scare myself!
Could I be so darn insecure or am I just bored? Well, it's true that I've been understimulated these past few weeks. I have already shared (ad nauseum) the unique and mundane aspects behind The Life of a Temp. There's nothing worse than sitting for hours daydreaming about public speaking engagements with Powerpoint presentations in filled-to-capacity Training Rooms; imaginary young temps eager to hear me share droplets of Experience. Must be the megalomaniac in me. Instead, this is what I get:
Older Executive turns to subordinate who's training me on my job duties and says, "Can you please get her to copy these and start coding the mail that we got yesterday?" Like I'm not even there. Ugh-Ugh! Scenarios like the following are also not uncommon:
"Can you…what was your name again?"
"Mema."
"Whatever. Listen, can you photocopy these and can you," turning again to subordinate, "show her where the photocopy room is?"
"I know where it is."
Incredulously, "You do?"
"Yes. Isn't it the room I pass every morning to get into the office?"
Clearing throat, "Uh, yes. Yes it is. Good!"
Then in full sweeping motion like a war general, complete with crest and banners flying, The Exec pivots and heads back to his office. He quietly locks the door behind him in secret fear of me. If I know where the copy room is on my second day there, who knows what else I may know? I may even threaten his job! So, like a true opponent, I brandish my colors with pride and honor. If I'm going to be labeled a traitor, then I'll go down in a blaze of glory. Glory, Halleluyah! Defiant to the last just like in kindergarten. The only saving grace is that he can't order me to do pushups or punish me with a timeout. Woo Hoo! I mean, Halleluyah, children. Halleluyah!

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About Lisa Perez

Lisa M. Perez is a published poet, editor, copywriter, public speaker and artist. The co-creator of the first ever ArtSpace in Jersey City, member of IUOMA (International Union of Mail Artists), and administrator for an online Mail Art group, Lisa supports the arts and advocates for creativity. Her successful, Art Journal and "Notes from my Brain" series are ongoing projects that evolve with the artist. In addition to being an active blogger since 2005, Lisa scripts and edits copy for various online articles and videos. In September 2017, she was a guest-speaker and virtually chaired a YOGA Recovery meeting. In her spare time, Lisa studies, reads, and creates while maintaining a day job in a STEM field and being a full-time fur-mommy to her shih-tzu, Cher.
This entry was posted in Look Into My Crystal Ball, Things That Make Me Go Hmmm..., Whistling While I...Work. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to On The Outside Looking In

  1. Quana says:

    I just want to say you are a pure genius! I can read what you write all day.

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