…because it's all about ME all the time.
…because my arm's too short to box with God, so let's just talk about…ME!
…because you give us the news and we'll give you…ME!
…because, Luke, I'm leaving you!
…because I think to myself what a wonderful world (with ME in it)!
…because you scream, I scream, we all scream for ME!
…because it still is ALL ABOUT ME!
And so on.
So let me start with the fact that I love my shoes. Shiny gold ballet slippers. I know, I know. Perfectly Yummy (if you're a girl) and "Why'd-you-decide-to-buy-those-things?" (if you're a boy). Ten more points if you're an adorable cutey of a boy. Minus ten if you're a jerk. So I'm happy and contentedly wearing these beauties out (and I know that they can be considered a little loud but…WHATEVER!) and the aforementioned jerk approaches. Let's watch.
Jerk – (giggling) "Oh, what are those?"
Me – "They're shoes."
Jerk – "OK, Dorothy…there's no place like home, there's no place like home."
Me – "Shut up!"
Yeah, I know. Snappy comeback, huh? NOT! I can't think of 'em quick enough. But that one jerk managed to ruin a good portion of my day until…
Cool Chick – "I loooove your shoes!"
Me – "Really? Jerk just made me feel so bad before…"
Cool Chick – (rolling her eyes) "Whatever! I really loooove those shoes."
Me – "Thanks! You really made my day."
*smiles all around (except in the dark cloudy area by Jerk)*
Which brings me to my next thought: Why do I care what others say? The answer is…there is no answer! OK. Reality. My vain little heart really does get broken when people are all judgmental of me. I really hate to be odd man out. That's despite my wish to be all independent and "who-the-heck-cares" nonchalant about things. Truth is, I am extremely sensitive and most creative people who appear to have the thick skin of a rhinoceros still secretly feel inadequate and just plain weird. But when in doubt, GO ALL OUT! I mean, do whatcha wanna do badass! That's right I'm talking to you in your "Bert and Ernie"-striped shirt and bell-bottoms. Go ahead and be who you be and never let anyone get you down. Gotta admire the differences. Otherwise we'd all be Stepford clones…or working for the US government. And who the heck wants to do that?! Later, Gators (and Playa Haters)!