Today I was supposed to go to work. Sara, who’s still in high school had the Jewish Holiday off. I prepared to go to work today by going to bed semi-early. I thought briefly about what I was going to order for lunch today. I made sure I had enough change for the train. But then, this morning…
SOMETHING WENT TOTALLY WRONG.
Perhaps it was stupidity. Perhaps it was temporary brain loss. Perhaps I had forgotten the conference call that I had setup for today. Perhaps I didn’t get enough sleep. Perhaps it was a true brain-fart. I dunno. Anyway, I did call the job and heard a voicemail message that said that the “offices were closed”. Little did I know, that the message was an automated system message that helped fuel my misunderstanding.
So then I got the call from my Boss that I was mistaken and felt like an idiot. (Don’t worry, it happens a lot). So tomorrow I’m just hoping that I don’t have to feel like the idiot I am and be reminded by my co-workers and other people fielding questions like, “Yeah, where were you yesterday?” and “Are you an idiot?” because it’s obvious that…Yes. I am. OK?! It sort of reminds me of the time (and Eric can vouch for this) that I also made a shamefully similar error that involved a recording at my last job. It really isn’t a habit. Not really. It’s just that as I’ve established earlier, I am an idiot and am prone to stupid, silly retarded mistakes like this one. Oh yeah. That is, OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!
So…my public…accept me for all my silly shortcomings, for all my crazy BizarroLand behavior. I can’t help my contagion. And will this level of stupidity spread? Gee, I hope
so not. Because only I can dare the dumbell stuff so that YOU DON’T HAVE TO! That’s right, I am willing to accept the death-defying risks of job-placement for your bemusement and entertainment. I am, after all, a human guinea pig. For you.
And if you believe that crap, I’ve got a bridge I’d like to sell ya…