Whenever I did something wrong and my mom caught me, she’d ask: “Why would you do that, daughter, when I told you 50 million times not to?” Or, if she’d called you more than once and you didn’t answer she’d say: “Why didn’t you answer?! I called you 50 million times!” Or, if she’d had an argument with her sibling she’d say: “My sister’s being unreasonable! I told her 50 million times not to listen to her friends.” Oddly enough, my mom was just trying to get her point across that she’d tried. A lot. At least, 50 million times. Although the number was a slight exaggeration, you gotta hand it to my mom. If she ran a company called, Guilt-Trips-R-Us, she could take a little guilt, package it, and sell it by the 50 million.
In truth, my mom is an exaggeration. She overdoes it. So much so, that you often wonder why you even bothered to get mad in the first place. For example, I once made the mistake of telling my mom that she was boring me with her daily chatter. Yet, to know my mom is to be informed on what’s happening on CSI this week or what she did today. My mom is an embodiment of all of the routine parts of anyone’s regular day. So when I said that I was bored hearing about it, she overreacted by tying a handkerchief around her mouth. Literally. Before I knew it, I was half-laughing and half-apologizing for being so rude. You just gotta love my mom. Or. Else.
This past weekend, I decided to visit my sister, who I haven’t seen in a while. Since my mom and she live around the corner from each other, I thought that I’d be able to see my mom, too. Wrong! Turns out my mom had a prior engagement. What could be so important you may ask? What could make my mom choose over me? A turtle. That’s right, a little critter who travels with his home on his back…tur-tle. Not to be mistaken for a tortoise. Not. At. All.
But, that is so my mom. She’s a little bit crazy and I’m a little bit of Rock-and-Roll.
Unpredictable moms, when you’re little, can be eye-opening at best, or terrifying at worst. It’s not really a blast until you’re older and you can weather these surprises, nay, even welcome them because it spices up the doldrums. It adds the sazon, so to speak. You go, ma!