When one feels old, there isn’t much that one can do to break the slump. There really is only one way out and that is to feel your way through the experience, dark as it may be, and hurtle yourself forward until you reach the light. Call it enlightenment, call it the summit, call it success. It kind of reminds me of an old Twilight Zone episode where a series of dolls donated to the Salvation Army–unaware that they are dolls, of course–trying to find their way out of a cylindrical bin that they believe is the way to freedom. It always gets me to thinking that the universe is full of these instances where one becomes aware, on many levels, of one’s position in the universe. That’s a very Existentialist view, but it’s still valid. For example, every human being in the world right now is struggling through their various forms of problems, complaints, troubles, issues, addictions, worries, and depressions. These are numerous complexities that coincide with the nature of being human. But what sets us apart from other animals is our ability to cope and persevere from these. We reason, we finagle, we adjust, we rationalize; otherwise, we perish.
Older And Wiser
Strength is becoming a familiar friend that I have gotten to know well. For my young age, I have lived lifetimes. But I can in no way believe with certainty that all is lost…because it isn’t. I think I’ve handled it all quite well, considering. The natural solution to most of my problems has been my age. As I get older, I get more and more sage-like in my convictions. I grow interested in elder’s views and incorporate their ideas into my final conclusions. This is a methodical process, I think. Oh sure, there are times when I throw caution to the wind and say, “Fuck it”. But I don’t always think that this approach gets the best results.
It Ain’t So Bad
But one must never fool oneself into believing that yours is the worst life ever lived. That’s simply not true. Some lives are worse than others. It is the same with aging, I suppose. I may feel older than my years but many of my likes and habits lean toward ye old. I call this nostalgia, but others just think I’m funny when I used worn terminology or antique phrases to describe things. Since I’m a lover of the list, I thought I’d get into some of my faves:
- “You’re such a card!”
- “Don’t be such a fuddy-duddy!”
- “Let’s cut a rug!”
- “Lator, Gator!”
- “What?! No petrol?”
- “Gimme some skin.”
- “Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
- “Make like a tree and leave.”
- “Hustle in the bustle.”
- “Hey, don’t you be no square.”
I know, I know. Some of these are extremely corny and must be used very sparingly. It’s still not going to limit me in any way because I naturally speak this way. I mean I should’ve been some sort of beatnik or hucklebuck or flapper or some other weird phase from history. I would’ve made out. Really, I would’ve. Honest. That, or I would’ve made the Brady Bunch lost episodes where Marcia and I go to our senior prom spouting “Golly Gee”-isms to eager classmates. I may not make it to Prom Queen, but dammit, I’m making it to the popular club!!! What the heck am I talking about? I dunno. I lost my train of thought somewhere.
What Does ‘Happy’ Look Like?
If Happy were a color, it’d be yellow. If Happy were a band, it’d be Hansen. If Happy were a movie, it’d be Happy Gilmore. Happy for everyone has its own face, has its own smile. That’s the place where merriness comes in. The warm feeling you get at Christmastime say, or on your birthday. That’s why I feel blessed to know and have known the feeling, even if I can’t always have it all of the time. Like my Dad used to paraphrase from a Rolling Stones song, “You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes you’ll find you get what you need.”