Post Live Earth and I’m feeling a bit…well, disappointed. Probably the most important topic of our decade and we almost overlooked it. Unless you’re addicted to entertainment news as I am, Live Earth was less than a Farm-Aid, We-Are-The-World, Woodstock blip on the solar radar. It was just, “Eh”. And hello, Al Gore? Hi, I’m going to half-ass organize this shotgun promotion of this important issue and my last name rhymes with Bore. Ho-hum. But as far as the star power, it couldn’t be beat even though most of the more interesting acts seemed to come from…dare I say it…London. There. Now I feel better. That’s right folks. The overseas got the best seats and probably promoted this concert better. And what was with that Live Earth from New York City lie? Thankfully, the fact didn’t escape most of the recording artists who gave the nod to New Jersey since that’s where the Giants Stadium is located. New Jersey. So not New York. They’re separated by a river people–ok? That’s like calling Afghanistan, Iraq. Get it right!
So yeah there were some memorable performances, but the goods gotta go to the Brits who had Madonna AND the Red Hot Chili Peppers on their bill. New Jersey was a little more folksy and lackluster with KT Turnstall and John Mayer. Nobody dressed up. Everybody wore like recycled newspapers and rubber tires, all trying to be humble and less chic than they know how. There were old timers like Pink Floyd, Genesis, Duran Duran and The Police. There were new timers like Shakira, Corrine Bailey Rae (and I so had to look that up right now that’s how out of touch I am with the modern scene), and Kelly Clarkson (despite the recent bad press).
And hello, Australia! Toni Collette–probably best known for her performance as Cole’s mom in The Sixth Sense performed with her band and every song was, um…er…to put it kindly, worse than the one that preceded it. So sorry. I really wanted to like it. I really did.
But wait a minute…despite the laundry-list of celebrities wasn’t there an actual point to all of this? This brave new world is no longer the Mtv generation any longer. Those were the days, eh? The 80s? Well, now it’s i-pods and i-phones and e-learning. What is anybody really learning about the information superhighway? Nothing. Not even the U2 experiment Zoo-tv is tuned into anything other than Paris Hilton snippets and U-tube clips. Terminology overload and call letters for everything and endless Top-100, Top-50, Top-whatever listings don’t help. Data overload. Danger, danger! Can not compute. No one is paying attention to the message. We’re waiting on the world to change. But didn’t we learn in the 80s that we are the world, we are the children? All those Public Service Announcements and Afterschool Specials are lost on the new Attention Deficit masses trying to keep up with their email. I mean, will using both sides of recycled paper really mean anything if only a scattered few participate? Will brushing your teeth in the shower really reverse the global warming process? Puh-lease. I think that as optimistic as we present ourselves; a uniform conglomerate constituency of able-bodied red-blooded Americans, we really are nothing short of human. H-U-M-A-N. We’re not an integrated bunch of kumbaya hippies spouting free love, passing out daisies. No, sir. We’re like, ordinary earnest idiots who would rather pay the admission price to go to a concert than drink tap water. What…NO EVIAN??? We’ve become simple-minded enthusiasts of the convenience model.
“Let them eat cake!”
American: “Not if there isn’t a Starbucks right around the corner…”
“Don’t stop until we see the whites of their eyes!”
American: “And their Orbit smiles!”
We want it now, bigger, longer, available 24x7x365, in high-def whenever our itchy little hands feel a need. We are the Consumer Nation. United We Stand to cheer at a concert no matter who the victim is. Unfortunately, we won’t feel the burn until our skin is crisp and charcoal black, and even then, there’ll be some idiot out there applying Crisco-thick suntanning lotion enjoying the killer UV-rays, dude.