You see this harmless looking thing before you? His name’s, Bear. But don’t let the seeming cuddly-ness throw you. So much as mention the term: bath and it’ll spark a mighty reaction from Bear like you’ve never seen. Nevermind that fact that he enjoys water in all its forms: frolicking in sprinklers, swimming in The Bay, marvelling at the steam from a tea-kettle, chomping on ice in the summer after he plays with it like a squeaky toy. No, Bear does not like a foamy tub. He does not like it in a Sub, he does not like it tummy-rub. He doesn’t like a foamy tub. He does not like it, Rub-A-Dub.
That’s when the Bear Inside comes out and he begins to snarl, groan, and bark. It can be quite a challenge just to get him in the vicinity of the bathroom. Once there, it’s a struggle that continues until you’ve physically managed to lift his heavy frame or until you give up. Either way, someone’s going down. A few vain attempts every weekend turned up no progress. Bear just wasn’t caving (get it?) and since Carlos refuses to aid in the endeavor lest Bear think that he’s been betrayed (man’s best friend, indeed!) I always end up frustrated and begrudgingly give up. Well, there was one small opportunity: when Bear’s thirsty. After weeks of careful observation, I noted that there are moments when Bear wants water. Carlos assured me that since Bear was a pup, sometimes he would jump in the tub in order to get some nice, cold faucet water. So it seemed only natural that Carlos explain this to get me to stop trying so hard. He’d say, “Hon, you can outsmart the dog. Why don’t you just wait until he’s thirsty, shut the sliding shower doors and give ‘im a bath then?” And I’d say, “That day may never come.”
Well…I was wrong. It came at a very inopportune time (of course). I had just finished walking both the dogs but they had eaten late in the day, so the walk took place later than usual. Much later. Then, miraculously, Bear jumped in the tub licking his chops and staring at me for water. I seized the moment. It wasn’t a great moment, understand. It was just a moment that I found advantageous. I slyly shut the shower doors and went to work. I had to gloat just a little bit, so I did. I cheered and hooted to Bear that I won. He knew it. He’d been bested by the best. It was a victory hard-won but I remain CHAMPION of the Bear. Beat that, Tristen!