You know that it’s a full moon when strange things start to happen without your input. Today was no different. Found out that the reason for no hot water wasn’t a frozen pipe, but none other than a broken water heater. It wasn’t even the fact that no one in the building bothered to tell us this itsy bitsy fact that affects, oh well, EVERYTHING. Nope. It was the matter-of-factness in its delivery. Something like so:
Carl – Hey do you guys have hot water downstairs?
Patron – No. The boiler’s broken…
Carl – Which one?
Patron – Must be yours.
Carl – You think?! Nice of you to tell me.
Patron – Got PSE&G to look it over on FRIDAY, they couldn’t fix it so we had to shut the hot water off.
Carl – So nobody bothered to let us know, huh?
Patron – No. Guess not.
Carl – So when are they coming to fix it?
Patron – Couldn’t get a repairman until Monday.
Carl – Thanks a lot for letting me know, pal.
So here I am, no hot water. Then, I was kind of on a downward spiral of depression when I had to do my favorite chore and take out the dogs. The walk, as usual, was a bit difficult because of Bear’s insistence that he is HDIC (Head Dog In Charge) to which I kept resisting with hard tugs on his leash. This always results in a tug-of-war situation that he wins (mostly)…he’s so damn strong! But as we were heading home with me cursing like a sailor under my breath, this odd fellow came out of his apartment and proceeded to stare at Bear. Not just stare, but behave as though he were deathly afraid. So naturally, to comfort the gentleman, I smiled a little. This sparked a worse reaction with the guy yelling something out that I couldn’t comprehend since I’m going slowly deaf (damn impacted ear!). So I continued walking and began to cross the street noticing a car approaching the stop sign. Even though the driver clearly saw me, he/she still thought it vital to their existence to honk the horn anyway. At. The. Stop. Sign. For no apparent reason other than to spark that quick heartjump feeling that you get when you feel like you’re in danger. Even though I wasn’t, the heart jumps anyway. I think they call it “flight-or-fight response” which I don’t understand because I wanted to do neither. Seriously, if I want to fly, I can’t anyway because I’m not Superwoman. Or, Wonder Woman in her invisible helicopter that everyone could see her in anyway as she’s clearly flying though the air in the seated position. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of being invisible?! I’m just saying…Also, I don’t want to fight. Like Michael Jackson, “I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Except, I’m not a lover of little boys like Michael. So maybe what I’m trying to say is I’m not like Michael Jackson at all. Instead, it was a horrible, horrible frame of reference and I would like to just crawl into bed and forget this night ever happened. Agreed?