A Visit To KFC

For some reason, whenever my sister and I go out, funny things happen.  Sure enough, our recent trip to the local KFC was no exception.

We walked in and I had wanted a meal.  I placed the order in the simplest way I could, but the attendant seemed to be a little on the dazed-and-confused side.  It went something like this:

Me – I’d like the 7.99 special, please.

Her – OK.   Anything else?

Me – Does that come with biscuits?

Her – No, so you’d probably want the 13.99 special.

Me – Ok.  I’ll take that.

Her – You get two side-orders with that.  What would you like?

Me – Corn and mashed potatoes.

Her – One, cole-slaw and what did you say again?

Me – I don’t want a cole-slaw.  I want corn and mashed potatoes.

Her – Cole-slaw and…

Me (correcting) – No, no, no!  I want corn.  C-O-R-N and mashed potatoes.

Her – I’m sorry.  Corn and uh, what did you say again?

Me – Mashed potatoes.

Her – Ok.  Anything else?

Me – Yes, and a Number 5.

I hand over my cash and check the bag only to realize that the girl didn’t ring up my Number 5.

Me – Excuse me, I ordered a Number 5.

Her – Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t hear that.

Me – It’s ok. 

Her – What sides do you want?

Me – Corn and mashed potatoes.

Her – Mashed potatoes and cole-slaw.

Me – No!  I asked for corn.  Corn, please.

Her – Oh, ok.

There’s some mild commotion in the back but the girl remains completely still at her register.  I pay and wait.  We wait longer than anything.  Then,

Young Man – Potato balls?  Anybody order potato balls?

Me – Potato balls?!  What the hell–

My Sis – Hon, we ordered a Number 5.

The girl still doesn’t move or say anything.  There’s some more commotion.

My Sis – Did anybody place an order for my Number 5?  We’re still waiting…

Her – Oh yeah. Y’all put in that order? 

Kitchen Staff – What?

Her – A number 5 with…um…what sides?

My sis – Corn and mashed potatoes.

Her – Yeah, a cole-slaw and…

Me & My sis – No, no, no!  We asked for corn and mashed–

Young Man – Here you go.

My sis (whispering) – Thank you!

Her – You’re welcome.

My sis – Well at least she heard that!

And…SCENE.

Sure, I cut the slackers some slack for being hard-of-hearing on a Friday evening, but for Pete’s sake!  That was way ridiculous.  Just goes to show that selective hearing is fast becoming the norm. Ah, the sweet youth of America…gotta love it!

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About Lisa Perez

Lisa M. Perez is a published poet, editor, copywriter, public speaker and artist. The co-creator of the first ever ArtSpace in Jersey City, member of IUOMA (International Union of Mail Artists), and administrator for an online Mail Art group, Lisa supports the arts and advocates for creativity. Her successful, Art Journal and "Notes from my Brain" series are ongoing projects that evolve with the artist. In addition to being an active blogger since 2005, Lisa scripts and edits copy for various online articles and videos. In September 2017, she was a guest-speaker and virtually chaired a YOGA Recovery meeting. In her spare time, Lisa studies, reads, and creates while maintaining a day job in a STEM field and being a full-time fur-mommy to her shih-tzu, Cher.
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