This is a really pertinent question that I’d like to pose to my audience (yes, all two of them). I suppose I could just about stand all of the cutesy nicknames that love has a tendency to produce. But once the honeymoon stage of a relationship is done, just stick to the typical terms-of-endearment like, “sweetie” and “honey”, please. Anything outside of that could actually induce vomiting. I can’t explain my lack of interest in the mating habits of humans. There’s just some things that should be limited such as: nipple pinching, tit honking and ass-grabbing. I mean really.
Just to elaborate, my sister and I are actually quite gigglicious (it’s a word) when it comes to the multi-cultural pickup lines. But our most recent favorite is: “I marry you girl.” This gem came up when some Arabic guy tried to get my sister’s number in a club.
And while we’re on the subject of clubs…
What’s with that Usher song, “I Want to Make Love in This Club?” I mean, seriously? Do you really want to? With all of them germs up in there? Ewww…! Yuck…! Gross…! You’re not that cute Usher. And, aren’t you married?! Whatever happened to simple, 80s lyrics like: “Cherry Pie” and “The Humpty-Hump”, hm? I mean really!
Just because you were my Lucky Star, doesn’t mean I’ll Be Loving You Forever, ok? I’m not Hungry Like A Wolf here. So Relax (Don’t Do It). But Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. Because Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.