Smelling the Roses (and not Pee)

So remember all of those posts where I name some of my pet peeves?  Yeah.  Living in the city can inspire rather voluminous listings.  Lately though, I’ve paid more attention than usual to bad habits that should be second-nature to me, given the fact these have (unfortunately) become commonplace behaviors.  Don’t ask me why I’ve become so seriously sensitive to these as of late.

Last week, as I walked to the corner store for my daily coffee purchase, I passed no less than three men clearing their throats to subsequently spit in the street.  Dude.  That stuff was just in your mouth.  That’s your DNA, the stuff that you can’t get without legally granting your permission to swab!  It’s not even being utilized for some grand purpose like hocking loogs at passing cars or anything like that.  No.  It’s useless and unsightly.  People will step on it.  The sun will beam down on it.  There is a reason why the good Lord meant for it to reside in your body.  That’s so that others don’t have to look at it.  The only colorful palette I want to see is in a Picasso. Now, a man’s defense is that clearing his throat is vitally important to “get rid of “unnecessary mucus in the morning”.  However, girls don’t do this.  At least, not classy girls.  Why not?!  Because it is about the most disgusting thing anyone can do, therefore, it is exclusively a boy-function (assuming that boy’s are gross, which they are…of course). 

However, this isn’t the only disgusting thing that boys do. We also get the pleasure of public urination.  Yippee!!  That’s another talent that boys have just because they have the distinct pleasure of having outies, not innies.  Woo Hoo.  Or rather, Boo Hoo (for the rest of the public).  And no, I don’t have penis envy.  Can’t fellas just wait until they reach a bathroom??  Why do I need to be standing at the bus stop the other day only to smell the unmistakable pungent odor of freshly squeezed piss?  I mean, puh-lease.  Seriously?!  Seriously disgusting.

Am I picking on just the fellas?  Well, there are disgusting habits that women have too.  I hate the public grooming.  Hair.  Nails.  Makeup applications.  That’s annoying somehow, but not as vile as the aforementioned.  But there are some things that should be saved for the privacy of one’s home.  If you’re going to be late, well…get up earlier!  And try to keep your habits–and your spit & piss–to yourself.

This has been a public service message.  Thank you and g’night!

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About Lisa Perez

Lisa M. Perez is a published poet, editor, copywriter, public speaker and artist. The co-creator of the first ever ArtSpace in Jersey City, member of IUOMA (International Union of Mail Artists), and administrator for an online Mail Art group, Lisa supports the arts and advocates for creativity. Her successful, Art Journal and "Notes from my Brain" series are ongoing projects that evolve with the artist. In addition to being an active blogger since 2005, Lisa scripts and edits copy for various online articles and videos. In September 2017, she was a guest-speaker and virtually chaired a YOGA Recovery meeting. In her spare time, Lisa studies, reads, and creates while maintaining a day job in a STEM field and being a full-time fur-mommy to her shih-tzu, Cher.
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