The other day, I almost had forgotten. I almost sent you a note and stopped, remembering. Today I looked into our notes and re-read what I had written for you a little over a year ago.
When someone asks me how I am, I have no answer
Therefore find it suspect when soliloquies are born
Emotions defined so clearly as if it sat across the tongue
For such occasion that breath should set it free
Flying through the air as just as any truth
When someone asks me why I smile, I find no explanation
The source of all delight as present as the sun
The mystery of which I oft contemplate
Drawn to a center that I’ll never reach
Can’t foresee the value of a sunny day nor a rainy one
Or tell you how I feel about awakening each day
With purpose: using all five senses
To build thoughts
To write poems
To sing songs
Or view the world in lense-reverse painted with rainbows
What could I say to get you to believe
That which I can scarce express in all divine ways combined?
Can’t pin down lofty words like, Love or Loss
So I choose not to waste my days deconstructing
Everything I see, I touch, I feel, I smell, I taste is mine
And words can never do them justice
I will never forget you. There were things we shared that I never told anyone. You were an inspiration, a no-nonsense person with a big heart. This has been the hardest loss to take because I’d promised to see you…but for some reason, it wasn’t in the cards. I have to believe that it was for a reason: so I didn’t have to see you but in my mind’s eye. You always said that I was a good writer, but today, I can’t find the words. I just know that I really miss you…and that no words I write will bring you back.